Graham Norton: (gets on a beard like Gandalf, the lights go down and a smoke & wind machine are turned on) "I am Gandalf. One ring to bind them all, and in the darkness find them. I have a magic ring, or that's what they tell me Cybil [turns to Cybil and asks "You all right there?" (she's shielding herself from the smoke and wind machine)]. *audience laugh*
"But LO! LO! I see Lega- Lega lassie bloke. I see the blond one with the bow and arrow. Ladies and Gentlemen It's the gorgeous star of Lord of the Rings and Black Hawk Down, please welcome Orlando Bloom!"

(Orlando walks out with a beaming smile wearing a cream colored shirt, a leather jacket and jeans. He hugs Graham.)

Orlando Bloom: (to Cybil) "Hello, lovely to meet you"

GN: "Ah hello, Cybil's a bit (she's leaning over to him and smiling at him, Orlando's shying away from her), I know you see!" *audience laugh*

Cybil Shepherd: (stroking his shoulder) "Don't be scared it won't hurt!"

OB: "aahhhhhhhh~~~~"

GN: "No the thing is! No, look at you, coz you're it now!"

OB: "Am I?"

GN: "Well you know what I mean, coz obviously Orlando Bloom, the new Leonardo De'Caprio!"

OB: "Leonardo Di'Caprio??"

GN: "Seriously, no, we had so many emails. We put in an email search, an internet search, on your name. 29,000 results"

OB: *laughs* "No! Really?"

GN: "Yes, apparently up to 50 fans joining the yahoo clubs for you, I mean is that weird?"

OB: "Yeah that is weird, coz especially since I'm a technophobe I haven't, I don't have an email address, I don't have a computer I've never seen any of it."

GN: "I think, just as well, I have!" *audience laugh*

OB: "Oh Great!"

GN: "Is it just, are woman now kinda throwing themselves at you?"

OB: "Um, well not really, I don't think...I had long blond hair in the movie. I don't think people really recognise me as yet."

CS: "I didn't"

GN: (brings out a shot of Orli as Legolas) "No, it is weird, you do look so different, there you are. He's that one *points at him*. Did you have to look like that? Is that how Leggie-loo-loo looks like in the book?"

OB: "Yeh he is kinda just...Leggie-loo-loo"

GN: "What is his name?"

OB: "It doesn't matter Leggie-loo-loo works great. Pointy-eared-bow- twanger works too!" *audience laugh*

GN: "There you go! [seriously] You started off as a normal actor, Guild Hall, and you've done all the regular things, you've done?"

OB: "National Youth Theatre"

GN: "Casualty, London's Burning..."

OB: "No"

GN: "You didn't do London's Burning? Awww *audience laugh*"

OB: "No"

GN: "You haven't lived!!"

OB: "I know!"

GN: "Oh! Well you did do Midsomer Murders"

OB: "Yeah, I got that gig straight out of, I got Lord of the Rings and then the very next day I walked into that audition and I said, 'well I've got Lord of the Rings' and they said 'oh do you want to do Midsomer Murders?'; and I was like 'Yeah OK' "

GN: "Did you die"

OB: "Yeah, oh God terribly, I died really badly!"

GN: "Ooh tell all!"

OB: "I got a pitchfork in the stomach and (acts out having a pitchfork in his stomach and gags) I did this awful death thing it was terrible"

CS: "What show is this?"

GN: "Midsomer Murders"

CS: "Where is it?"

GN: "It's this village where the murder rate is higher than New York" *audience and Orlando laugh*

CS: "Here in London...it has a higher murder rate than New York!"

OB: "Is it?"

GN: "Really?"

CS: "That's what they said on CNN"

GN: "Well American station, they would!! *audience laughs and claps* Err…the other thing that's very exciting, you have turned into merchandising, (gets out the Legolas action figure and tries to open it) here you are, now..."

CS: "Oh my gosh! You're a doll"

OB: "I'm a doll. Isn't that great? I'm a doll! [sarcastically] You know he's only asking, he's only trying to get that open so...he wants me to play with myself!"

*audience laugh*

GN: "Do you know, it hadn't crossed my mind!!!" (trying to attach the Elven knife to Legolas' hand)

OB: *repeats laughing* "Don't you think it's great? My kid's gonna be able to play with my..."

CS: "You have a kid??"

OB: "...doll! No (hastily), but when I do!"

GN: "Not yet Cybil!!! *Cybil laughs* So apparently if you do that (presses the action button so that the arm that has the knife in goes up and down) Oh look!"

GN & CS: "Ooh Ooh!!"

(the knife falls out)

GN: "I was over..."

OB: "You got a little bit over excited!"

GN: "You can make him do this though, you can fire arrows"

OB: "Yeah but I've kinda, I've tried it, you have to get the arrows of the box, you have to sorta..."

GN: "Oh I've seen arrows, arrows I have" (getting the arrows out of the box)

OB: "Right, and then, and then it..."

GN: "It's so sweet that you know how to play with your toy!" *audience laugh*

OB: "I know isn't that great, I've only..." (trying to make the action figure shoot the arrow and fails) "It goes like that (gets cutely annoyed and throws the action figure into the air). Like that!"

*audience laugh*

GN: "Very good. But...(Cybil grabs the Legolas toy) [To Cybil] ooh, be nice..."

CS: "I am very nice!"

GN: [To Orlando] "There's a better... ooh look at that!" (Cybil is putting the Legolas toy in her cleavage) "Sorry, I've been distracted by what Cybil's doing to you"

OB: (till this moment hasn't noticed what she's doing. He looks at her, and then looks away all embarrassed covering his face with his hand) "Oh my God! I love it, I love it, have we got a picture of that? That is fantastic!"

(close up of Cybil's cleavage, she starts pressing the action button so Legolas' arm is moving up and down on her breasts XD)

OB: (throws his hands over his face) "OH MY GOD!!!"

*audience laughing loads by this point & clap*

GN: "Quickly, quickly. What are you up to, what are you going to do next?"

OB: "I'm doing a film in Australia with Heath Ledger"

GN: "Ooh the Knight's Tale?"

OB: "Yeah the guy from A Knight's Tale. And it's called Ned Kelly, he's playing Ned Kelly and I'm gonna play this um... I'm one of his best mates, he a bit of a lady's man who's got an Irish accent kind of thing, it'll be good!"

GN: "Oooooh if you need any help with the accent!"

OB: "YES!" (pointing at him)

GN: "I'm local! ...it seems to be Heath Ledger with a big bucket! But there you go..."

*audience laugh*

- Japanese -